Monthly Archives: May 2010
stay. or forever mourn.
i came tonight by the shimmering light. a star beyond the speculated dust. traveled towards the continent of what shall be heard and shall be restored. a memory. saved a memoir. that dull the deft, one for the deaf. one shall dance and entwined onto a magic that shall surpass none but the conjuration itself. i believed that i have been made. and i shall return but a few. and i shall regret the matter as in the light nature of a cold lily. blissful yet teased by its own kind.
by the light of the true star. and by the language unknown.
by the depth of true horror. and by the setting moon.
by the picture of true fire. and by the blackness of white.
ignite. for its own tale. a story of vast color and lies. painted upon the dais of the crooked crown. under the wishful mountain. deep into the lustful cave. one shall be remembered.
for the believers.
and for the broken.
that is what i take. your hope that you most adhered. your balance that you must forsaken.
i am the devourer. i am the lighter. i am the lover. i am the breather.
for i am The Conjurer.
truth to tell. i have no comforting mood today to start a new plain article about what i’m thinking right now. but under some unwilling atmospheric views, the title of my previous article really showed me that some effort must be formed so that my blog wont stay with that title ‘Shit’ in Bahasa every time i log in to my home page. not pleasant to my pictures. okay.
semalam. Nicky Yee. a sales representative from Fitness First, the Curve called me to come for their so called ‘Open-Day’ which i quickly knew it to be a lie because i’ve experienced this first hand last year from some cute Chinese maiden with good features called Michelle if i remember correctly. hehe. and i know it is No Open-Day.. kalau Open-Day.. mesti ramai gile orang datang kot. nih 2 orang jek. kalau ade shift pun or appointment lain2 masa pun.. still.. ini terlampau sedikit. jadi aku tidak percaya. dan aku percaya derang buat promosi sepanjang tahun.
but that’s not the point. the real point here is that i must write an article long enough to cover that shitty word ‘Taik’ from when I or someone else view my home page. okay.
so, I decided to go for the Open-Day and decided instantly that should the agent cum sales representative gave the final word. i’d just say ‘Yes’ and pay for the membership fee, admin fee, personal trainer fee or what ever fees that gonna come out. lol. aku kaye dol sekarang. well. i arrived at the Curve just after Maghrib and start my tour in Fitness First. the facility aint that big. but considering only members can work out there. so i think its mighty fine and spacious enough for me to ‘usha’ or stalk some sexy babe with nice ass in some tight workout suit.
ugh! stop it.. u know u’re not supposed to go all out by just reading your hand writing. uh! tenang. tenang. u’ll get your chances. heh!
*shesh! so damn cold in here [in my office lah].. it’s over 6.00pm already.. usually the air-conditioning system in this building were shut down after 5.30pm.*
meh! so Nicky [the agent] brought me to check my BMI 1st. what’s BMI? here. i’m dead serious about that link. by the time we’re finished with the BMI machine testing. i’m not surprised by my BMI result. i knew my own BMI from 10 years ago. Nicky feigned a surprise face. te fuck?! go learn to be an actor la wei. then Nicky showed me the facilities and activities involved during the hour. “menarik”, i thought. but then again, commercial fitness center mane yg tade aktiviti menarik? meh.. i’m here to workout je pun. keep my body fit. maybe some occasional goal to be kurus. but mostly just to keep fit. here’s the catch. if i pay for it, definitely gonna go for it. okay.
then came the time to place me on a sofa and discuss fitness need for everyone. yea right! and how am i gonna achieve some level of ‘kurus’ness within the desired months. heh! like i’ve never heard that before. well. betul lah ape dia cakap. cume i dont think with my level of good natured desire, i’m gonna end up to be the guy sitting right next to me watching American Idol while sipping free 100 Plus with a body that looks like that 3D Arnold Schwarzenegger [hui.. susoh nok ejo] in Terminator: Salvation. hmm. looks like mini brown Incredible Hulk. hey! it’s not like i was checking out the guy’s body. he was wearing that shitty little singlet that were tailored for a hamster. and he sat right next to me in front of a TV showing American Idol. shesh! and he was as big as me. how can i NOT noticed? but what te hell. i’ve set my goal anyway. that is to keep fit. and write an article that cover the word ‘taik’. i think.
i let Nicky make a copy of my myKad and my CIMB atm card. then set to make a lot of signatures on some papers.. i could only remember the title of the papers and it said “Agreements”. after that. Nicky gave me some souvenir fitness first kit. ‘souvenir’ my ass. i know i paid for it. then he brought me to the counter in which they gave me 2 set of towels. and then he led me to meet a ‘personal trainer’ who looked younger than me but have the age that when you subtract his age to mine, you’ll get a positive number. his name was ‘Srivinagan’. i think. okay.. i could just remember Sri. we agreed to call him that anyway. he asked me to get changed. i really dont wanna check out his body. but i when we speak to someone judging by his appearance and hands.. and when he walks, he was like ‘mendada’.. u know what i mean? WTF? derang nih patut masuk wrestling dol ngn badan cenggitu. lagi kaye dari jadik personal trainer kot.
i went and changed my clothes to my workout gears with my signature seluar silat. heh! and Sri led me to a place where people cycle while chatting or watching an array of televisions. i think they have 6 channels available. and people just need to pick their channel and plug in their earphone to the controller on those cycling machine. Sri turned on one of the cycling machine. i got on it. and he instructed me to burn 200 calories that night. then he went to his other tasks. ceh! easy…! so i cycled.. until i burned more than 300 calories. ceh! like i said.. easy. and i did it while watching Glee. heh!
pastuh aku dah malas cerita. trainer datang balik. buat appointment bile nak datang lagi. mandi. balik. esok membership card siap. kene datang balik. okay. gi McD cineleisure. makan nugget 9 ketul. so much for 300 calories. muahahahaha!. balik terus tido. penat gak eh.lol. lame tak exercise dowh. tak fit. memang la. hahahahah!
so kejap lagi aku nak pegi la nih. tggu trefik jem reda sket. pastuh piuunng. off. nak tengok Shrek lah lepas dapat membership card. heh! okay.. layters ladies.
p/s: eating is my pleasure. cooking is my passion. leisure is me. and fun cannot live w/o me.
kalau dah najis tuh.. najis la.. tak kisah la. orang putih minum ke.. orang indonesia minum ke.. harga dia mahal ke.. dah commercialized ke.. kalau dah najis tuh. maknenye kalau ko minum gak. ko minum taik la. najis. buduh! haram lah makan najis. pakai najis pun tak boleh. inikan pulak makan najis. hadui. sutera tuh najis lah. sekarang ini.. kite cerita pasal Luwak. luwak ke luak? haha! memang patut lah menatang tuh name Luwak. wahahaha! nah.. ini pulak link untuk details One Pound Raw Coffee Luwak for the DIY fans dia kate. lol
hahaaaa.. sile lihat dengan mata anda yg tak pakai spec. bentuk kopi luwak mentah. Bahase Inggeris nye di panggil RAW Coffee Luwak. ko rase bentuknye cam bentuk hape? cube ekau berak kat jamban pastuh bandingkan ‘item’ dalam jamban tuh ngn gamba nih. haha! pastuh ape kate anda amik ‘item’ dalam jamban tuh.. cuci bersih. keringkan. dan kisar. kalau anda nak dispute tak serupa ngn kopi ini. apa kata anda telan buah kopi atau kacang tanpe gigit. lepas tuh biar proses semula jadi menjadikan kacang2 atau kopi2 itu kepada ‘item’ dalam jamban. then ulang proses mencuci, mengering dan mengisar. pastuh anda bancuh ngn air panas. then minum. kalau pahit. letak gula.
yes! najis tetap najis. haram lah ia. tak kisah la ekau banyak duit ke. open minded ke. pangkat besar ke. lahir secara semulajadi kat Amerika ke. kalu dah najis itu. bermakna najis lah ia sepanjang zaman. tak suci lah. biarlah ko dah beristinjak mahupun bermastautin. malah jika najis itu telah ekau samak 40,000 kali. najis juge la namenye. macam lah babi mahupun hanjeng.
ekau nak pegang.. BOLEH.
nak makan kalu. hahahaha! ko rase boleh ke? ahahahahaha! ko nak jawab ke nak gelak? ahahahaha!
Arak pun najis gak.. kan ke kencing Setan..
okey.. selamat merasa.
p/s: camne nak samak perut?
i came to office by komuter this morning. i’ve been randomly rotating transportation options to my office since my parents went living in Arab Saudi. one day i’ll drive my car to office [well, ususally its becasue im late]. another day i’d just park my car at the nearest KTM station and ride a train towards KL. so today. like i said, i went in KL by KTM.
8:30 am.. the komuter arrived. there were 3 coach or tram or whatever partition people call it for a komuter. and the middle coach are reserved for females only. yes. how i wished i have the means or power to be in the middle coach. all the lovely ladies i spied at the station went into the special middle coach.
damn! but the other 2 coaches. are normal coaches. meaning females can still board those coaches. very little and unattractive females board those coaches. haha! and being a human born with extra flesh at my crotch. i was ‘forced’ to board the 1st normal coach. and there you can tell how unlovely the enforced partition rules had done to people of delicate sense of smell. darn it man!
may i suggest to all the South East Asian or Middle Eastern MEN.. please take control of your bloody hygienes. go see a bloody hygienist for God’s sake. bapak busuk natang babi dalam KTM tadi. apehal aku kene bau ketiak korang for 30 minutes! GOD! my nose.. felt like it had been sodomized repeatedly. kau sudah merosakkan neurosensorius olfactorius aku!!! gile tak tahan la.. ugh!.. its like riding under 10 heavily sweating Banglas armpits [sorry Bangladeshi living in Malaysia, but its true].. aku rase kalau aku bau ketiak aku selame 30 minit pun tade lah busuk cenggitu. rase cam nak cabut hidung aku letak kat atas rambut amoi yang cuci pakai shampoo Rejoice pagi tadi. God, damn those smells. ugh! nak muntah aku! tapi apekan daye. takleh gi coach ke-2. i bet 3rd coach also had the same familiar smell. argh! KTM administration need to obliterate the ‘just-4-females’ coach rules. or i’d suggest them to add another coach called the ‘stinky-people’ coach. God..
mintak2 balik nanti takde female coach lagi. sedih hidung aku. looking back. aku taktau la betul ke idak ade orang komplen pasal ‘sexual harassment’ dalam tren kat Malaysia nih.. well. i’ve been riding komuters for more than 10 years now. aku rase cam tak banyak pun news pasal pompuan kene harass kat dalam komuter kat Malaysia nih. in fact, aku x penah dengar pun ape2 pasal sexual harassment dalam komuter. Malaysian men are literally pussies. sume lelaki meleysia penakut. melainkan they came in groups. then they have some little balls they ought to have. buat jahat kene ramai2.. sensorang x brani de. and unless they came from another country. lol. hmm.. mungkin lah ade sexual harassment berlaku. but i still dont approve of people who stank badly to ride the train with others. that’s a form of harassment jugak ape. nose or smell harassment. shit!
nanti aku nak conspire la.. pakat ramai2 muntah dalam KTM sebab bau busuk cengharam!
1Malaysia my ass… camne aku nak ngorat awek KTM skang? and how te heck am i gonna see that Alexis Bledel in tudung labuh again? aaaaah!! nooo!!! i hate you harassment complainers!!
i hope u’ll get harassed truly.. lol
u know im not serious..
aaww… i think u need a zebra tooth brush.. buuhuhu!
*ntah.. aku pun x paham
p/s: i always change my clothes or put my hands down to close my armpit whenever i feel like sweating.
here’s a good fact from me. or maybe some good facts from me. if there are any more of it.
Gentlemen knows they’re Gentlemen. we recognize other gentlemen. and certainly we’d compete to be more gentle than the other. we observe, analyze and rate among ourselves. yes! it is a fact that a man can calculate his own gentleness. and we also know we have one genital that inevitably must be used someday. but thats genital.. not gentle.
i know. by right, people would say.. we cannot measure our own gentle nature and that it is based on other people’s perspectives to tell us if we’re really Gentlemen. but i am sorry to view and to tell you that you are of the wrong ones.
other people will have all the rights to rate, measure, calculate one man goodness or badness. but people are all stripped from having opinions to tell us if we really are a gentleman or not. because a gentleman can always be a bad gentleman or a good gentleman. and he will always be a gentleman. albeit the good or bad in him. it is as simple as that.
so gentlemen do not and did not die whenever the ages grew old or grew to be modernized. we simply choose to not show. and if it were to be shown. some complexity of mixing ones ignorance and stupidity and some good management are allowed. for it is what we aimed to be. either good gentlemen… or bad gentlemen. and as ages came to where people would say “an-open-minded-age”. i do believe they are impudent fools that knows nothing of being a good gentleman. so they became the bad gentlemen they are. and as the time fled away.. they grew to be the worst of all gentlemen. not a good picture to be viewed isnt it?
ladies.. you may say everything about us being not gentle enough for you. but the facts stood there. behind the dark walls. hidden from view. until we decide to show. until we believe its time to tore the dark walls open. or decided to build a door onto the wall. so that it might be opened and closed at some time. we are of the nature to build walls. but some relishes the form.. the art of gentleness.. the art of lust.. it’s a trick you see.
gentlemen we are from the day we born. it’s just having to see gentleboys to be gedik are because of girls requirements. but thats for boys and girls. we are of the matured gentle nature. and women… women are the real wolves. if you really get what i mean. that is.
there can still be good wolves and bad wolves. hehe. for the less fortunate wolves, they encounter bad gentleman. for the less fortunate gentleman, they encounter the bad wolves. heh! who can we blame? that’s why Nabi Muhammad SAW kahwin dulu sebelum keluar dating.. tade pulak aku penah dengar cerita Nabi Muhammad SAW keluar dating sebelum kahwin.
so there you go. facts about us gentlemen. we may be a bad one. but we still are.. GentleMen.
sebab kalau lelaki budiman semakin pupus.. aku rase makin ramai orang kawin by pilihan mak bapak or tak kahwin langsung. ini aku tengok tiap minggu ade jek org kawen. huh! penat haku nak travel jauh2 pegi salam pengantin, amik gamba pengantin, ngn makan nasik minyak. padehal.. boleh je jumpe time futsal. lepas futsal makan nasik briyani ngn rendang. cam nasik minyak jugak. lol.
Post Script: ergh! bile aku nak….. hmm….
who let the dogs out?!! aaawwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwowooowowooo.. eh..
tak. who wants to come? am i officially a glee dancer or not? lol!.. yeah! im participating in the Glee Flash Mob Dance ◄*boleh click*.. tomorrow 8th May @ noon. Venue : TBA when we gather tomorrow. excited? gile hape tak? ini event seluruh dunia nih. nyahahaha! so anyone wants to go watch the Flash Mob Dance.. boleh ikut aku. atau carik2 sendiri kat the Gardens, MidValley esok untuk our noon gathering.
p/s: hmm.. oh.. i may have found a way to a healthy life after all..
it is ironic. when you live in such a way you would never have thought. a journey full of mysterious items embedded through what you call life. i have this tendency to not think very deeply. to not act my way of age. i know. its either im lagging before time. or im just way too old for my age. yet, i do think everything IS a hassle. something i must not dwell upon everyday. in truth, i.. for my entire life have no dream. i mean. i dream.. but i dreamt of being a superhuman trying to act cool in front of everyone. everyday. reading comics really is taking its toll eh? but this dream im talking is so much about my future. of course. i have no goal and guess what.. i dont even have the means to thrive for anything. i live my life at my current point of time. no one else in it. no one will be in it. no one were in it. its like this shimmering void trying hard to swallow me up.. whole. but i tried bit by bit not to be eaten. bit by bit, daily. and no more. as long i have this consciousness. i thought that things would be just good. enough for me ONLY. but i know i gave no impression of this attitude towards others. i show none of it to no one. they see me as i have my dream that i wanted to pursue. but. i have too many.. i’d say too much of a dream that it aint true anymore. it cannot be true anymore.
once. i had a dream to ride the wind. roaring the sky alone. then, it changed as i wanted to build my own piece of peace. designing. building. creating. and when once i had dreamt to be a good analyst. i tried pursuing it but as im living it. it is a failure. and i changed it to be a free photographer. not freelance. yes free! it ended tho. as i changed it to be a good cook. i would just say it once in the past. that i could do anything. just give me anything. i’ll work on it. and i’ll make a dream of truth. but reality covers my greatness. i am what i am. and i thought of everything as a hassle in my journey. and i kept my mind just barely inches upon a wall. JUST to get a view of something of utter beauty beyond the high mountain walls. seriously. no one wants that. but i live in it. a pre destruction of a way.
i have tried to imagine rather than dream. i have and i had. for once i believed that i could be dependable. or maybe i could depend on someone. so imagined a world of a new me. where i could share it with someone. but yes, i failed. and i try and try again. and again i failed. no.. i will not give up for such dignity i must possess. i breathe the grey air. i swallowed the salty water. i bathe in that shallow rain. i swear that i will not give up this imagination. even if it takes me all my time. i would protect it. i tried and i failed. miserably. and i will be trying again. in the future. for now.. i am just tired of seeking. for she will not appear.
i collected too many ways to depend from. and i bet my ass that my own journey will someday end me of my misery. devastation. enticing run. tempting jumps. from each step i took i would just rule a sacred part of time. when the stars just blink my existence to none. just when i hear the moon sings. every night i came to be. unbidden. but thoughtful of the day that were being created. i fell to my slumber every night trying to imagine a future path. but no. the stars will just interrupts. the sky filled my ideas. heaven and hell would bring my sleep every night. the story i read would just slip away from my fingers. the room will fell into hush of wind from the fan. bearing a life under the fitful light. i would just fade the day for the night. thinking of no future for myself.
and i started dreaming again.
painted by darkness. you see as you blend.
and shadows of fresh mountain views. sent forth for eternal void.
a technological influence. a bad karma. an ego.
but when the day came.
and night shall know of your nature.
forged through by the deep wind.
placed higher than the sun.
or the mere moons.
one shall kiss the river bedroom.
blessed. prayed. knelt.
assasination of the heart.
it is i. who may i name myself.
a knight of rats. detailed to the sunken sewers.
rain fell up and between.
worlds fell apart.
ocean. collides. a trick.
a neutral voice. sound of the green.
scenery of the mind.
rocks of tall. fire of boots. ice of grades.
and lovely marbles.
for the true flowers. a dandelion. the black glory.
pens of pencils. papers for granted.
share wide the youth.
screen of blue. and windows of speech.
and write more of the truth.
the letters will sing. melodies screaming. tuned.
but around a single language. a voice.
a streaming voice. a reward.
for the coins they produced. i used.
collector’s money. and saviour of future.
but a drag of loan. and a simple card.
with no fee. none.
use it. or not?
time reacted. for the hand held much.
when the tick became tock. a clock.
due by true. and the day would end.
by so means by date.
last Friday. futsal was canceled. so mungkin bagus jugak. coz i went for a movie marathon that night. Ip Man 2 and Iron Man 2.
you can expect sweaty palms when u watch Ip Man 2. just like the first movie, Ip Man.. u can see people actually gripping their hands tight when a fight scene came up.. lol!.. i was literally gripping my palms so tight that each time the bad guy threw a punch, i was trying hard calming myself to not throw a punch to the screen.. lol.. or when Ip Man started punching and knocking people down. itsa good movie. it is. better go and watch it. i’ll give 9 out of 10 for the fight scene. and guess what? my no.1 favorite martial art actor was on the screen.. Sammo Hung… yep.. the big fat martial artist. he can do a back flip as well as a flying kick. it is because of him that i spent my youth in martial arts.. and because of him. i can run faster than people of my average weight. i can do a back flip. i can do a flying kick and… i can fly. lol.. i mean it.. i can fly. the only thing i cant do is a good split. a split is like eergghh… Sammo Hung can do it tho.
and yes.. Sammo Hung inspired me to be the man i am today. a flying overweight man. i have these two large legs attached to me that.. if i were to be thinner or lighter.. my legs will still be as large.. well, because it just muscles. its just two big lumps of muscled legs. what?.. how can i run fast, do backflips, flying kicks when i weigh over 100 kilogram? a leg must have sufficient strength to hold my weight and my crazy activities. right? so it became so large of muscles, people will only see it as fat legs when they see mine. lol! truth!! tak tipu… tak caya tanye ururu~~
and then there was Iron Man 2, Lelaki Besi 2 Digital. the ticket seller told me Iron Man 2 Digital have sharper resolutions. ntah la! aku tak tengok yg bese nye. so x dapat bezekan. but Iron Man 2 was good. tho expected. but still good.. best.. or whatever u can say about it. here’s a tip. when the movie finished. DO NOT go back yet. wait till the credit ends. there’s a little surprise..
maybe Iron Man 3 versus Thor. ahahaha! dah x surprise laaa.. hahahaha! sape sruh bace article akuh? padan muke.. lol..
entering a new day new month. i went for my School Batch Alumni Gathering SJI 2000 last Saturday and might i say that i had a delightful 1st May. about 1/5 friends or batch mate came to the Dinner Gathering which was held in Restoran Nelayan, Taman Tasik Titiwangsa. all and all.. 8 of my classmate came that night. a total of over 50 friends came. at first, i tot.. hmm.. maybe not so good of a place to do a gathering. but hey… when friends are all around.. even sitting under a tree in the Sahara Desert would make things easier to be accepted. i had quite the fun. i believed everyone enjoyed as much as i did. I sat at my classmates table.. meja orang penting nih. haha! nak tau sape my classmate? jeng jeng jeng. anak orang terpenting dalam Malaysia. well.. bukan anak raja la. tapi well. Prime Minister is actually memang terpenting dalam Malaysia pun. walaupun self proclaimed govt. boleh laa. terpenting la jugak. haha! i know. i hate his father. tapi ape boleh buat. he’s my classmate kan.. oops.. oh! nevermind.. i dont think any of my ex-classmates read this junk blog anyway.
one of the best part of the gathering was when people were arriving. everyone all looked to be professionals. kontrol gile laa.. hahahahaha! 10 minutes after introductions by host. everyone were back to their high school personalities. hahahaha! after dinner, which consists of several seafood platters, fried chickens and vege soups. then, we moved on to take photographs.. first was the ‘picture-of-everyone’. then came the class pictures. tade event pape sangat pun. just taking pictures. and after that, there was a surprise Birthday for one of the organizers, Hairil. one of my long school mate. since kindergarten tu. actually, ramai je kawan since kindergarten, tapi x ramai yg datang. lepas abis. sume pun start berborak lah. catching up with old frens. reminiscing old times. bese bese la dalam alumni gathering nih. ape lagi nak buat. tanye keje katne? keje ape? dah kawen? dah tunang? tinggal mane skang? and urgh! i see most of them are very2 successful. i said most. i meant all. except me.. lol..
meh! had a good time. gone back home later to watch Chelsea win againts Liverpool.. good good.. jangan bagi Man Utd duk atas. lets hope Chelsea tak kalah lawan Wigan nanti.. Amin~~! heheh!
tak buat pape. woke up late. tengok tv. administer urgent letters. tengok tv. made lasagna [my style]. sedap. tengok Sunderland bermati-matian tackle sane sini.. main sane sini dengan harapan kuat dapat draw ngn Man Utd.. tapi demn.. tak gol jugak. argh!
ari nih ari senin! aku ponteng keje setengah hari [heheh] ingatkn team leader aku cuti sebab ganti cuti labor day. when i arrived this afternoon. i saw the Project Manager and my team leader sitting at their desks. aaaah! demn! mintak2 tade sape sedar aku ponteng setengah hari.. hahahahaha! 1st time ponteng nih! slalunye kalau aku cube nak ponteng. i’d tell my team leader first. then he ask me to apply for Emergency Leave. jadi, tak ponteng lah maknenye.
oh! i forgot to tell. i had my Replacement Leave on Friday untuk Labor Day. [last friday lah. time gi tengok marathon wayang tuh]. jadik, aku cuti 3 setengah hari lah weekend nih. haha! best gile aku bangun lambat pagi tadi.
ergh.. u’re turning into a demon slowly Ururu.. very very slowly.. and i think i know the cause of it. i’ll try stopping. have to make effort.
and oh. just now. my team leader introduced a couple of new employee. puak etnik cina lagi.. mmg aku tade kawan la kat KWSP ni. haiii… bosan.
okes! tade pape dah. gamba pun tade. like always. gamba sume dalam facebook. sape yg kenal aku. boleh tengok kat facebook. sape x kenal. haha! carik la sendri. aku tau korang malas nak carik. so maknenye tade gamba langsung lah.