if you play to win. then fun is your bonus.
if you play for fun. then win will be your bonus.
pick your choices.
competitions. there are competitors here and there. no matter where the map shows. me. i am no competitor. no. i want to be something more, entrepreneur is the term businessmen used for this kind of fun, risk seeking individuals. but still, entrepreneurs could walk close behind the definition of competitors. i want to be like the hippies. but in my own way. I want to be everything there is. I want to be more.
people strove by results. people strove by rewards. people strove by outcomes. i have yet seen people strove by joy and joy only. i want to be one. heh. komik gile impian aku. but these comics made me realize what i wanted to do in life. not to be on the top. but to be able to handle anything when i reach the top. no. the goal is not at the top. the goal is within. i have long since abandoned the young ambition of being on the top.
let me put in terms of football.
i want to meet my opponent. i want to shake hands with my opponent and share laughs at the beginning of a match. i want to smile when i see the ball. and laugh out loud when i touch it. i want to bend my knees and flex and stretch my muscles when chasing the ball. i want a header. chest the ball. dribble my way out of more than 1 opponent. i want to take time thinking where to go, where to pass and which to pass or even how to pass it. i want to make miracle of every touch i could earn on the field. i want to rustle through multiple opponents. slides. i want the feeling of sheer adrenaline. even a mere touch of the ball. a hint between passes. a faint for the opponents. i want to swing my legs hard onto the ball. kick as low. kick as hard. kick as high. kick as fancy. and i want to enjoy such moments every time i could believe my dreams. i want to score goals yet not worry when the opponent score theirs. i want to pass a curve ball. i want to set a piece. i want to start a piece. i want to make a piece. i want to even plan a piece. i want to want plan a piece. i want to feel the hard leather of a boot. i want to engage and take a ball from the opponent. i want to run faster. i want to feel the cold sweat and the heat off my skins. i want to shout for the ball. i want the scream to get the ball. i want the ball. i want to jump high as though i am flying. i want to feel lost of a ball. i want laugh when someone make simple mistakes. i want to not fear their mistakes. i want to make mistakes and feeling miserable for some instance. i want the joy calling it my game. i want to watch the ball flow through the field. i want to see the ball high on the sky. i want to stop for a moment. i want to rest my heart. i want to be able to think. i want to think. i will not cry. want to laugh my win or my lost. i want to love. i want the joy of love for football. i want it all.
it doesn’t matter if i lose. no. it does not matter. i want to lose as badly as i want to win. no. to win or to lose is just my idea of a bonus. i had had my fun. i want nothing else than the sheer joy of feeling joy. i want to love. again and again.
until one day. the competitors will find it that they don’t want to be competitors anymore.
when it met my purpose.
when we all have fun