Draining

Dia datang balik..

It's not that it comes and go.. tapi whether aku boleh tahan or tak boleh tahan dengan perasaan tu… feelings tu still ade. By God, the feeling's actually growing by the day.
but sometimes aku boleh suppress dia. and then ade time aku takleh suppress. bile aku takleh tahan, aku cube mintak Tuhan tolong suppresskan walau sikit… most of the time, berjaya.. u know, try buat solat nawafil semua tu..

tapi ade time cam sekarang ni, dari aku bangun pagi tadi sampai sekarang aku dalam meeting ni.. perasaan ni kuat sangat.. aku nak sangat tengok muka dia. aku nak sangat berborak dgn dia. and my God, time camni aku nak sangat sentuh dia.. tapi all i can do when i see her is look away and pretend that i dont have any feelings toward her.. sakit gile hati bile kene camni.. every seconds, each moment aku tak buat pape tu.. rasa macam hati ni meletup letup.. bukan macam mercun meletup.. tapi macam bom weh..
imagine kene bombard dgn bomber plane dalam perang.. tapi non-stop.

Days like these aku takleh fokus. days like these aku takleh pikir straight. semua decision aku berterabur. hari camni aku menangis. hari camni aku carik jalan nak bercakap ngn dia. tentang ape aku nak buat.. hari camni aku nak curik dia.. hari camni paling buat aku penat.. and petang or malam kang bile aku cube distract diri aku dari perasaan ni (selalunye dgn jogging).. hari camni jantung aku sakit lebih bile jogging.

makan tak kenyang and mandi tak basah tu all bullshit lah.. tapi it's a good perumpamaan lah.. aku memang hilang fokus.. aku taktau la kalau perkara camni boleh buat someone gila.. more like, mungkin someone tu paksa diri dia jadi gila instead of being traumatized from such events..

mungkin aku boleh tahan dari jadi gila.. but GOD, penatnye nak tahan perasaan ni.. mentally exhaustive. sangat penat..

i still love you for your information Shafinaz.. mende ni tanak hilang.. jangan salahkan aku..

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About ururu5

I practice Islam, total One Piece fan.. and L'Arc-en-Ciel.. and Arsenal.. and.. im single.. I'm left-handed..

Posted on 27th July, 2017, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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