What am i even doing anymore?
u know what sucks.. sucks that i noticed only bits and parts of her.. how she reacts to everyone that came to her.. the way she answers her phone.. the way she smiled when talking on the phone.. how she lowered her voices so that no one can hear her conversation on the phone.. when she giggled, lowered her voices, slowly made her way out of the office to talk privately at the corner end of the corridor.. in which case, i assumed must be 'him' who called her.. calling her every day and telling her how he misses her.. and then planned to meet somewhere after office to take her back.. (or maybe it was just her bestfriend).. but
like….. i wanna do that… me!..
ok. agak kronik gak jeles aku nih…
but yeah.. it's frustrating.. to the very core of my being.. seeing the way she moves, her.. walking slowly towards the door.. that slender freakin body moves almost as if she was sliding slowly away.. aih!
and all i can do was steal sideway glances at her from the corner of my eyes so that i wouldn't draw attention from my colleague next to me.. or from her..
i wonder if this is all that i could do? frustrating over it all my life.. unable to move on.. will i ever get my chance?
she sits just behind me.. which is ever more frustrating because i cant see her.. i wanna know if she looks at me.. or not. well, gotta have some imagination. haha..
this happens every day.. every day! when i spent the day at the side office.. in her office.. for the last 2 years..
true. I didnt know she had 'him' all these years.. not until this year's eid that is.. but i always assumed that there is someone that she talks to.. it is the only reason why i cant muster any courage to confess to her all these years.. most of all.. that damn ring! i noticed that damn ring even before all of this.. and she said she was single.. she said she was single????????
Fuck Brunei!! suckiest project i've ever done!! Fuck Me!