do u actually think u have even a hopeless chance? After what you’ve done? you dont even have the looks.. what makes you think you can sway her away?
ngiang ngiang ngiang ngiang!!!
Have you ever considered between a time frame that you fiercely wanna erase and a hopeless hope?
That time frame cannot be erased.. you’re f*cked (in your head).
You live your days knowing what hope can be found in an empty but artfully carved casket. No! Pandora’s box never existed.
Do you know that feeling? When you think your waist is tied to a mountain. You’re pulling it. You hope you can move the mountain, but you also knew, actually knew that it is purely hopeless..
There’s still hope, you can’t deny that. Someone may help you… you can hire people to take down the mountain piece by piece and move it… you can carve the mountain bit by bit…
and wallah.. the mountain may move someday.
True. You can achieve that kinda hope after years have pass you by.
True.. You can achieve it.. If what you hoped for would wait that long for you.
but you know it won’t be that simple. A fleeting hope will not stay.. It will.. flee..
And by God, I’ve tasted that fleeting hope before.. and it broke me when I was but a speck of dust on a mountain. The dust grew, attached to the mountain.. but it cracked, again.. and again… and again as I grew to be sand and then rock to stone.
Now, someone carved me from the mountain yet again.. and to my delight, is promising me that fleeting hope once again. And again, I would trust hope. For there is nothing in this world worth more than holding to that hope.. that fleeting hope. It’s like a single salt among a mountain of glossy sand. What will I do other than indulge in my own virtue: trusting hope. it is not the hope that makes me happy, it is but the feeling of trust, the trusting part that makes me wild. I’d do this again and again if I could. in fact, I’ll do it until I can’t.
I have long for the sky even before there was any hope. I wished I could caress that eternal wind with my hand.
I’ve done many mistakes and I have learned many other mistakes. and I am now sitting here waiting.. waiting for that hope to fly away.. tell me i’m stupid.. tell me i’m cracked beyond repair.. nothing will sway me (I hope).
I don’t know if you’re reading this, but if you do. Know that I am hopeless.. and if this burdens you.. My advice to you.. Cut me down instantly. The more you pity me, the more you’ll suffer from giving that hope. If I am not yours to be considered, why wait and give me this pleasure of trusting a hope that will never stay?
I will move on, as many times as time had inflicted me upon. I may move slower this time.. because this is one big hope I’m pursuing.. Though hopeless to my eyes, to my heart.. I will always know!
or you could just give me that hope.. and you’ll stop this endless hopeless pursuit.
I was just expecting an “im sorry, i cant” or “im sorry, you’re not my type”… that’s all
What have i done? What? Have? I? Done? Am I going back to what I was before?
I was grinning miles in my head.. I had my fair share of fun today..
Feigning disinterest was kinda hard..
Had a great time with.. and great time with my family.. especially the little ones
The star and the moon are not symbols of Islam. There are no physical symbols that represent Islam. None. Muslim created the symbol of the star and the moon, just to differentiate between other religions, which also they said to represents their religion (“Islam”) long before Muhammad SAW came to us. The star and the moon represents, Allah owns the universe.
The only true symbols of Islam is the Syahadah.. we believed, we understood the meaning, we witnessed ourselves that Allah is the only One, and Muhammad is His prophet.
Anyone can destroy the symbols of the stars and moon. But can anyone destroy your belief? Can anyone destroy your Syahadah??
The Malays do not represent Islam. So much as the Arabs do not represent Islam. Their Syahadah does.
There are no such thing as race or ethnicity in this world except for what was created by the non-believers. We believed in Adam a.s., and if there are things like races in this world, we belong to the race of Adam.. A race from Heaven itself.
Ramadhan.. pertame sekali. aku nak mohon maaf kepade hantu-hantu yang bace blog aku nih sebab dah lame tak berblog. huk aloh! macam aku femes je ade hantu bace blog haku. terime kasih kepade encik hantu dan syaitan sebab membace.. eh. korang dah kene rantai.. tade internet eh kat tempat rantai?
setelah berkurun lamanya. aku membuka balik seluar dalam aku. eh. blog ini untuk merekodkan ape yg telah aku buat. setakat tahun ni.. err.. setakat bulan ni je la.
awal bulan ni aku join Saiful Nang Academy of Professional (SNAP) program PhotoCamp XI <— XI adelah nombor roman 11.. gi melawat Lombok dan Bali sambil menembak hati. aku join program ni sebab nak cuti je. sebab Elfi la tanak organize cuti pegi Pulau Perhentian bulan Mei ari tu. last minit nak tanye sane sini last2 tak jadi jugak pegi Pulau Perhentian. so aku carik alternatif lain nak gi cuti. tah cemane aku leh jumpe program PhotoCamp nih. terus aku register and bayar deposit. pueh hati aku. bayar cepat2, kang last minit kang mesti nak cancel la, hape la..
carry forward hari pergi Lombok. Syibli (instructor cum organizer cum guru photography SNAP PhotoCamp 11) set kiterang duk Lombok 4 hari and duk Bali 3 hari.. pegi Lombok naik katerbang, pegi Bali nak feri.. then balik Malaysia naik katerbang laa dari Bali..
aku ingatkan pegi cuti rilek2 je. upenye schedule dia dari hari pertama sampai hari last.. kene bangun 2.30 pagi untuk amik gamba Bima Sakti, pastu tunggu amik gamba sunrise pulak, pastu jejalan shoot Human Interest katenye, sampai la ke petang tunggu Sun Set pulak.. balik ke hotel lepas Isyak. power tak schedule dia. Program ni tak membenarkan ko masa untuk shopping walau seminit pun. mmg keje ko hari2 shoot scenery, landscape ngn human interest.. tade keje lain. untuk orang2 cam aku yg tegar nih. mmg aku amat berpuas ati dengan ape yg Syib dah schedule kan. sangat berpuas ati.
untuk mamat2 minah2 yg nak ikut setakat pegi bercuti, shopping2.. ini bukan program yg sesuai utk derang. mmg seminggu tu berpeluh je. sihat badan aku. last week main bola aku tak penat pun lari 20 minit.. selame nih nak tahan 10 minit atas padang macam kene angkut Bumi bak Atlas <– sile klik nama Atlas ini.
Syibli bawak kitorang ke tempat2 rare yg mmg tade pelancong datang. mmg kene redah jalan lobang2, hutan, sawah padi, kerbau, lembu, babi ternakan, semua laa.. mmg cantik tempat2 dia, bagai Jennifer Connelly masa memuda dulu. cantik! by Allah, Syibli had now earned my utmost trust in showing us beautiful places.. if there are beautiful places yang Syibli rekemen.. aku akan pegi. aku akan ikut dia pegi!!! dan aku akan shoot angle2 yg dia rekemen.. Syibli mmg power! katang natang! walaupun kurus kering je.. dah tu penyabar yg amat. dia mmg orang yg paling sesuai untuk pegang program ni.
Saiful Nang tak join kitorang kat Lombok. dia join masa kat Bali. sempat la kenal2 borak2 ngn dia. dia mmg seorang manusia yg power macam Pendekar Laut.. sangat power.. 1,000,000 Hp Tumbukan Maut Pendekar Laut punye power, aku tengok dia nih diberkati, amat murah rezeki dia.. Alhamdulillah. patutla dia dapat staff power2, bisnes yg melonjak naik, dan kepercayaan ramai..
by Allah, how can i be like Syibli and Saiful Nang.. or maybe like my friends.. Faitz, Elfi, Ain, Faliq, Mam, Ben, Hajral.. semua lah.. murah sangat rezeki derang. ikhlas buat keje..
sekarang nih. setelah pulang. setelah kembali ke realiti. walaupun PhotoCamp tu realiti gak.. tapi itu realiti 7 hari je.. skang ni realiti yg 50 tahun punye. setelah aku kembali ke realiti. aku malas cam bese. hish! nak tunggu kelas photo editing Sabtu ni ngn rerakan PhotoCamp.. cemane la bentuk gamba yg akan aku hasilkan nanti, segi tiga ke, emat segi ke, trapezium ke, parabola ke.. hai.. tak sabar rasenye.
eh.. dah Ramadhan. sesape yg bace nih. maafkanlah salah silap aku. aku tau byk salah silap aku. silap taip paling banyak kot. susah dowh nak type kat iPhone tu. jari aku dah la gemuk.
itu je la ceritenye. tade details. malas aku nak cerite details.
tatkala orang bersedia nak gi Tarawih kat mesejid. aku tgh sibuk tulis blog. takpe. aku boleh tarawih sendiri nanti. ape masalahnye???
Selamat ber’ibadah semua
i hate it when they put sweet mint in chocolates… i hate minty chocolates.
i like mint tea tho..
wow. this sucks! and some what.. an eye opener.
i’ve been really lazy. i havent opened my blog for quite some time now. why? all because i went and buy the iPhone5. gyahahahaha! been spending my time with it everyday. loser.
today. im restless, and quite thankful for it. i accidentally left my iPhone back at home today. for the first time, i went out of the house without my iPhone. this makes me restless to the core. demmit. what if someone WhatsApp me? what if i have some important calls coming in? what am i going to do every minute? well.. the bad thing about having a smartphone is that, i constantly, reflexively, look down on my phone screen every minute. trying to be aware of the game im currently playing. damn! real time Clash of Clans and Boom Beach. and then there’s that Subway Surfers game.. and some others. argh! im restless..
so to kill this restless feeling. i opened my blog. harharhar.. and start writing about it. here.
been doing pretty okay lately. after the Ghana project. Alhamdulillah for the rezeki. except that i dont know what to do with it. i just leave it there in the bank, accumulating dividends. i thought of travelling, but so far i only managed to book myself a trip to Singapore in 2 weeks time. i have list of all things i wanted yet im afraid to spend on the things i wanted. why? i wonder?
aah! i wonder if i’ll go back home this afternoon before our Friday prayer to fetch my phone. im restless.. but im feeling kinda relaxed.. resting in restlessness. maybe i need it. you know, breaking my weekdays routines.
i wonder if i can ever commit. adeh!!! why am i like this? do i like her or not? what am i looking for actually?.. aahh!!