Dilemma

aku taktau nak buat ape.

keje macam tak dapat lagi. interview tak pegi lagi.. tapi dia tanye aku macam dia dah offer kerja kat aku and aku dah accept keje yg dia offer.

adekah maknenye aku confirm dapat keje tu kalau aku pergi interview tu esok?

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Best Birthday Ever..

05/12/2017 09.42pm

I’m on the rooftop of the highest building in Empire City… can I say that this place is arguably might be the highest place in whole of Damansara.. I can see everything from up here.. I can even see Amcorp Mall.. hahhahahahaha!

The sky is full of clouds though.. I was hoping I could bask in the light of the SuperMoon..

But the air is clear. I can see miles ahead.

well of course i’m alone…

5.12

Adui.. aku nak spend time alone hari ni…

aku dah hide birthday aku dah.. ade je yg dapat tau…

Dah sorg dah start ajak.. aku pun kene la ajak yg lain..

pape lah

p/s: Allahummagh fir lahu warhamhu wa aa fihii wa’ fu anhu

doa utk org yg dah pergi. Jgn bace dalam hati je, bace dgn suara supaya si mati boleh dengar.. ye, org mati boleh dengar (walau kat mane-mane kite berada).. derang cuma takleh reply balik kat kite je

Maulid?

Maulidurrasul is actually the same as Christmas.. no one knows the actual birth date of our Rasul.. and he wasnt even a Rasul then.. bukan lahir2 terus jadi Rasul. tapi orang nak celebrate jugak.
 
spare me the bullshit of we can appreciate him on this day.. I appreciate him the same any other day.. you just want your holiday.. and you’re using the Messenger’s name and unknown birth date to justify a holiday..
 
Whatever makes them happy lah..
and it became a public holiday pun.. so, what ever.. makes me happy jugak.. 
shubahah!

Old Routine

I really need to watch what I eat.. How much I should eat. I practically slept the whole evening after lunch break today.. until the end of working time..

It’s a really.. really bad habit

It is as i thought..

there are things not shared to me anymore.. in the attempt to kononnye tanak break my heart even more..

Sebenarnye it breaks me even more when they dont trust me.. if they think i cant handle the truth..

well it shows how much they think i cant bear such a burden.. they think i am weak.. well yes.. i am weak.. that is because i am inexperience in the art of the heart.. but i think i’m recuperating quite well if i can say so..

it is as i have feared.. but biaq pi la.. aku tak rugi pun.. its just that i cant have the truth je… aaaaahhhh!!! and i long for the truth!!!! arggghhhh!!

i want to know!!!! Gimme spoilers please!!!!! hyaaaaaaaaaaarggghh!

Aku still trying.. aku taktau la kenape aku still trying.. gile susah la nak move on nih.. pejadahnye la aku nih..

Bukan kite pernah dating ke hape pun sampai aku rase camni.. nak kate ni first time pun.. tak jugak..

So hamende yg buat aku still nak rasa attach kat dia? dia pun, aku nampak berusaha kurang associate diri dia ngn aku.. (tak serapat dulu lah).. still berborak, tapi tone dia dah setakat friendly je.. haha.. dulu ade la sikit2 rase cam manje bile borak ngn dia.. (mende tu kot yg aku rindu?)

and aku still jeles bile dia tunduk bawah laptop dia bile nak berborak privately.. or mungkin dia tgh skype? Aahhh

get over it bodo..

now?

Of all the time i had.. why now? why are you making me feel this again? Fucking hate this feeling…

like.. it came without so much as a knock on the fucking door.. or on the fucking brain.. it just hit me like..

“oh it’s convenient right now.. i better hit him with some memories of him being rejected.. hahahaha”

babi! apehal dowh???? aku cam dah steady dah, tahan diri.. sekali dia meletup camtu je… what te hell.. and i didnt even kept anything bottled up sangat pun.. just bits and parts.. kamon lah.. i’ve been doing it my whole life kot.. apehal mende kecik ni pun nak meletup??

fuck i hate this feeling…

Rain

It’s raining..

I had always loved the rain. Well. more like, I still am in love with the rain.. any kind of rain. I’d bathe in them countless of times and I think I’ll continue doing so even more in the future.

True. Sometime it hinders my plan. True. Sometime its just felt wrong and humid. But heck, I had never been more in love with anything more than the rain.

Be it a quick humid rain in the middle of an afternoon, or a normal rain, or a rainstorm… or maybe a thunderstorm.. heck! put me on a boat in the middle of a sea storm where it rocks the boat violently..  I think I’ll never stop loving the rain..

I get these feeling of bliss, gorgeous feeling of ease, a flat piece of mind.. and an emptiness I could not even understand but I absolutely like it. I’ll walk through it no matter what. I’ll walk in the rain because of the respect I held for the rain. I’ll even stop for it. My pride will not be wasted on running away from a rain. Not a storm or a light shower can make me run away from a rain.

There are no sky to gaze upon, the clouds covered the sun, the moon and any beautiful stars beyond the sky. But there are always that rain drops on your hair, on your face, into your eyes, into your mouth..

These rains, they’re like the perfected beautiful pictures you simply couldn’t catch with your camera any time you try taking one. But when you do, it’s like you’re holding the most beautiful piece of art you can’t even handle.

I always loved the rain.. and I still am in love with it. Call me a hopeless romantic, for I am.

*sigh*. The rain stopped. I guess I’m going for my run now.

damn.. why'd she look so lovely today? Should i have gone with her?