Monthly Archives: December 2010


owh! tetibe leh bukak lak wordpress nih..

have u ever heard. “be what u wanna be?” well. thats bullshit altogether. in malaysia at least. here. u be what u were told to be. u wanna be an engineer. but the sum of your SPM grades were on top of the list when you turn the list sheet upside down. so they offer you a course u dont wanna do? heck! u accepted because u might get the chance to change back to the course u want to take. who knows?

u wanna be a pilot? yes! u dreamt that all your life [well. at least your entire childhood life]. then your cousin came and taught you life as a computer maniac. but yes! u still wanna be a pilot. but making and selling computer stuffs still makes money. and u dont have to fly anywhere else.

you graduated like others from a decent yet recognized university. you got the job! based on the course you’ve taken. then u decided you dont like the job. what te fuck is a dream job anyway? so u thought of changing career. but u dont have enuf money for it. u’ve been working for what? 1 and half year? how much did u saved from such tiny gap between your “dream job”. how about that car loan? how about PTPTN? so where r u gonna find another loan to support your new dream? nice!

have you ever heard of “those who can. Do. those who cant. Teach” oh! darn. u’ve heard of that. then u’ll know. it might be true. oh and believe me. you cant. do both. in Malaysia that is. u’ll either end up a stupid lecturer or a poor administrator.

but hey. whats that lump of money. that shiny car just like the prince in white shiny armor. look at that grand apartment that girl’s staying. ys! u wished for that. what? MLM? now thats a good career. oh yeah! the money and the cheques! u like! not until u realized. the girl with the apartment had gone from any rumours or even humors. and sttting on a beach sipping cum from a young healthy chiropractic somewhere in the Pacifics..

so you learn how to talk. how to lie. how to live the lie. but u get caught trying and now u’re driving to Perlis to live in a cave full of bat’s shit. now u want another chance to take on life. full of cash.

these theories. these quotes. these lies. they were never meant for us. and yet u believed it does. they quoted. ‘talk!’ ‘say what u want!’ ‘release it all to others’. thats bullshit. who do u think we are? we have been what we were taught from the start. we are full of lies!!!

wake up and dream!!!! stupid!!!! if u dont know how to do that. then u need to open your eyes more. more than the oxygen you counted.

the point is… the point is not the job! and the point was NEVER you. the point is not the world. the point is!!! its the bloody quotes!!!!!!! u live by those stupid quotes!! have you ever heard a quote “live life to the full”? then you were clever. until you heard i said “live life to the full”….

why cant u think of it yourselves?!!! fukkin mind!!!

ps: i know! its a stupid article.. its just me writing something.. oh! and my Dubai and Saudi experience next.. kalau aku tak malas.


kinda like an eve.. but not yet

hai! aku kate dah.. mmg makhluk2 melayu mmg tak paham ape aku cube nak katekan. yg tade point di buat point. hadoi…

takpelah. baik aku brenti sblom derang nih betul2 sesat. it’s a freakin simple message. and they want to toss it all around to make it interesting for themselves. it’s like what my brother used to say.. “What are you talking roundabout?” meaning.. “ape ko putar belit nih?”.. the idea came not for them. the idea came for myself. and for others to judge for themselves. it doesnt matter where you get your ideas. it is still a matter of perspectives. and perspectives do come from logic. ah! biarlah. pandai2 la korang pikir.

on the other note,
i went to watch TRON legacy yesterday.. and it was superb. the problem was i watched the 3D version which i think what really matters the most. not much of a 3D in it. better watch it in 2D because the 6 or 8 ringgit you pay for the 3D spec wont really help you enjoy the movie. the movie background were mostly in the dark night. and wearing the 3D specs blackens the background even more. and the game scenes pun tak banyak. kalau banyak mesti lagi best.

esok! hmm.. esok’s gonna be my last day in office this year. im going to Dubai on Tuesday with my brother.. then off to either Dammam or Umrah on the Friday with my mom and dad. which ever my dad decided. i wonder if there will be a lot of people doing Umrah on christmas holiday. and i was told. Makkah is getting colder and colder.. huhuhu! kene pakai tebal.

which reminds me.. i need to go and visit Nenek today after work. dah sebulan tak jumpe nenek wei. hish! cucu derhaka! ok! telefon nenek awal pagi.. insyaAllah dapat makan begedel nenek. hehehehehehehe! and then “karipap paling sedap dalam dunia”.. wow wow! cant wait.. nenek! rindunye nak makan masakan nenek!!! hahahahahahaha!

yes yes! rindu nenek skali la.

urgh! dah 3 pagi.. ok.. nak tido.. kejap lagi nak gi keje kot.. demn! oh! and today is the day my office’s having the monthly birthday celebration.. and i am one of the celebrated employees.. well.. the office surely are improvising on employee’s interactions among each others… a year ago, the office was really dull.. and i hardly knew anyone who sat 3 or 4 tables away from me.. huhu! and at least skang dah kenal separuh opis.. hehe! ok la tuh..

Rukun Rukun

nah! bace ni dulu. cam ade kaitan sket2…

lepas siap entri aku yg sblom nih. aku terpikir lagi. demn! byk pulak idea nak masuk ari nih.. Hallelujah…eh.. . aku google jugak Rukun Islam. ye la. nak kompemkan Rukun2 Islam. bukan aku tak hapal. aku nak komfemkan je. itulah care terbaik kalau buat kajian. komfemkan findings ko. bukan sedap2 ekau tulis ikut ape yg ko hapal. pastuh post. sebab ini Rukun Islam. bukan perspektif aku.
kalau perspektif aku. ikut suke bapak sedare aku punye pen-pal lah nak tulis hape pun.

nah.. aku jumpe ni:

haa.. tengok betul2. aku tau korang dah tau Rukun Islam. aku saje nak letak. supaye sesape yg membace nih boleh pulak mengkomfemkan ape yg dia dah hapal tuh. tul tak? dah kompem?

ok.. korang jugak dah tau macam.. yg paling senang nak dibuat tuh.. beri zakat kan? senang jek. sebab.. ko kene memberi jek setakat ape yg ko dah ade. buat haji pun senang. skali jek seumo hidup cume kene kumpul duit and sbgnye untuk buat haji… puasa bulan Ramadhan pun senang susah sket je la, kene tahan lapar sebulan je kot, itu pun tahan lapar mase siang jek. dan aku selalu dengar solat 5 waktu adelah yg paling susah. susah betul nak buat. yg paling susah skali nak buat Subuh ngn Isya’.. halaa.. korang dah tau.. kan? bese la nih. hahahahaa! aku pun… demn!

last2 aku terpikir.. senang gile yg 1st.. ngucap 2 kalimah Syahadah. gile senang la. pastu aku terpikir…

Bile kali terakhir aku ucap 2 kalimah Syahadah? [selain dalam solat la.. Syahadah dalam Tahiyat tuh Rukun Solat.. so ta kire lah].. so bile last aku ucap Syahadah? errrr… cam tak ingat.. demn! aku rase dalam doa2 aku lepas semayang pun tak ucap jugak. hmmmm… ok laa.. dalam zikir lepas semayang ade la kot. tu pun tak selalu. nak kire jugak solat aku yg banyak terlepas. lagi kurang la zikir. dan pulak.. aku di ajar untuk berdoa dalam sembahyang. bukan selepas sembahyang. so aku slalu blah je lepas semayang. tak zikir tak doa sgt lah lepas semayang. aku bace Ayat Kursi je lepas solat. itu pun boleh bace sambil pakai kasut. sambil berjalan. sambil naik krete. thats what is so lovely about berdoa.. ko boleh doa kat mane2 je.

aku paling tak suke kalau imam berdoa lepas solat Maghrib kat mane2 surau kecik kat tempat awam ramai orang. contoh kat surau dalam shopping mall lah [shopping mall besar bagai raksaksa hijau penelan bumi. tapi surau satu jek. kecik pulak tuh. hish!]. lagi lagi bile imam tu sendiri tau Maghrib dah nak habis. padehal ramai lagi yg tunggu nak solat Maghrib. so bile imam habis bace doa. Maghrib pun habis. Isya’ masuk. kite nih pun terkial2, tak khusyuk pikir.. “sah ke solat Maghrib aku bile Isya’ dah masuk??””sah ke aku jamak nih?” “kenape la aku tak masuk awal2 tadi??”.. well.. kalau sumorang pikir nak masuk awal pun. still kene bratur jugak. hish! doa panjang2. ini lah masalah org melayu. berdoa pun kene khusyuk. kene ramai2. kene panjang2. kene duduk atas sejadah. baru doa akan diterima. rasenye lah! kan???

yg aku belajar pulak. ko boleh berdoa bile2 dan di mana2.. Allah tetap mendengar. Dia Maha Mendengar kot. so lepas sembahyang kat surau kecik.. selesai solat. tengok la kalau ade orang beratur nak kat tepi pintu tuh. kalau tade org. boleh la nak doa panjang2. kalau ade orang.. bangun.. suruh makmum doa sendiri.. bagi orang lain nak solat pulak.. hish!
ape? jgn berlagak? jgn selfish? doa untuk semua? habis… kalau ko berdoa dalam hati kate “Ya Allah, ampunkan lah dosa semua umat manusia” itu bukan berdoa untuk semua? sendiri pikir lah camne nak berdoa untuk semua. kalau ko berdoa “Demi Allah, kurniakan kepandaian kepade org Melayu macam org yahudi” same jugak la tuh.. mane de ko selfish.

urgh! cam dah melencong lagi nih. aku nak cakap pasal 2 kalimah syahadah la.

so bile last aku terpikir nak ucap 2 kalimah syahadah selain dari dalam dan selepas semayang? takde pulak aku terpikir nak ucap Syahadah time aku berjalan pegi opis. or time main dota. or time shopping. time makan? jauh skali. demn! upenye ucap Syahadah nih lagi susah dari solat. sebab ko takkan lupe solat sebab ade waktu solat. tapi nak ucap Kalimah Syahadah tuh.. sendiri punye time. senang gile nak lupe.
cube bayangkan.
Zakat tuh kite buat setahun beberape kali. ade time nye.
Haji tuh skali jek seumo hidup. ade time jugak.
Puasa sebulan setahun. sah2 ade time dan waktu.
Semayang 5 waktu sehari.. pun dah set time dan waktu.
2 Kalimah Syahadah? [tade pulak aku penah jumpe pukul 10.15am atau pukul 12.43pm kene bace Syahadah]

dan aku serius terpikir tadi.. aku rase kite kene mengucap Syahadah hari hari.. tak kire lah brape kali pun tapi jgn di lupe Rukun yg pertama nih.. kite sibuk nak lengkapkan yg 4 terakhir. kite terlupe yg pertame. Na’uzubillah.

adeh! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. ade org rase cam aku rase tak?? ade tak?

betul ke ape aku cube sampaikan nih? deng! well. same lah ngn entri seblom nih. aku ikut logik aku je. haha! sedap aku la nak tulis ape. kalau aku salah. padan muke kau sebab ikut aku. hahaha! sape sruh tak kaji sendri.
untuk sesape yg dah tau. aku tau korang dah tau. tapi ini untuk org2 yg tak tau laa.. lagipun mane la aku tau yg korang tau ke tak tau.. ahahahahahahaha!
haaa.. aku dah jadi alim dol.. hahahahaaaaaaa!! walaupun name aku Halim… tapi berdasarkan blog aku nih.. nampak cam aku alim tak? wahahahahaha! tade la.. sharing is caring laa.. extra pahala dol.. sape tanak?

tengok nih pulak.. aku jumpe nih kat wikipedia. sile hayati. lol.

Perspektif aku pulak

aku macam terpikir sesuatu bile aku tengok salah satu tweet yg aku follow.. dan di link kepade beliau… macam aku baru sedar. well. mungkin dah lame sedar. cume nafsu nih je malas nak bangun. haha! demn kau nafsu.

bagi budak yg menjawab nih. dia kate Islam pada dia adelah satu niat. well. aku takleh la kate dia salah. sebab mungkin dia betul… kan??

sejak dari ‘kelahiran’ Nabi Adam a.s. manusia cube mencarik erti Islam. ape sebenarnye Islam?
dan aku terpikir tadi. based on ape yg dah diajar pade aku dari dulu sampai sekarang. aku sedar Islam itu bukan sekadar panduan atau agama atau fahaman sahaja. Islam itu sebenarnye adelah suatu Matlamat. let say kate matlamat ko nak masuk Syurga. well. itu mestilah matlamat sumorang. tapi tak bermaksud masuk syurga itu maknenye kite dah perfect. so.. ade satu matlamat yg cam aku terpikir. iaitu. nak menjadi Islam. Islam is perfect. so we are trying to achieve perfection. so Islam itu adelah Matlamat kite. dan al-Qur’an dan sunnah itu panduan kite untuk mencapai ke-Islam-an. sebab ia adelah satu Matlamat. maka ia sesuatu yg tak akan mati. biar ko dah masuk Syurga pun. u will still have the will to achieve something higher. something that brings perfection. so it doesnt end when people actually masuk syurga or masuk neraka or anything kan? it is an on-going task or an on-going dream. a task achievable by non except Rasulullah SAW. well. maybe there are others tapi aku rase kite diajar yg Rasulullah SAW jek yg paling perfect. only Rasulullah SAW yg achieved Islam. or maybe i need to read more.. yes.. need to read more.

Islam itu matlamat paling unggul. macam agama lain pun ade matlamat derang sendiri… nak achieve nirvana lah. nak carik holy grail lah. holy shit la. eh… amende lah. matlamat paling unggul kite pulak adelah menjadi untuk seorang Islam. which set my mind up until now. there are limited of what is Islam in me. i only embrace what i have been taught. but i never dreamt of becoming one. i need.. no… we need to dream.. we need to become one. Islam, that is.

sebab tu kot Syurga dan Neraka ade level masing2. we are measured by tahap ke-Islam-an kite. well. mmg la. itu sumorang tau. tapi based on ape yg aku selalu nampak. dengar. sume bercakap pasal yg dikira adelah dosa dan pahala. ade dacing timbang dosa ngn pahala kan?? kan?? kalau certain pahala lebih berat dari dosa dalam beberapa percentage.. kite akan masuk Syurga tingkat atas kan?? kan?? cenggitukan kalau org bercakap? kalau pahala takat sipi sipi nak same level ngn dosa.. masuk Syurga paling bawah kan? kan??? cenggitu?
well. skang aku dah tak rase gitu… aku rase pahala itu sekadar bonus jek. level syurga ape yg kite akan dimasukkan.. mungkin dikire dari tahap ke-Islam-an kite.

ini pendapat aku jek la.. cih! sesape pun leh sangkal. sile sangkal kalau aku salah.
demn! i really need to learn more of these pahala dosa syurga neraka.. shish!

for the record too. correct me again if im wrong. i believe kalimah “La ila ha illallah, Muhammadar rasulullah” itu tak menjadikan seseorang itu Islam. sebab itu pengakuan kewujudan Allah dan Muhammad sebagai Rasul-Nya. u are at least an embracer/seeker of Islam when you enchanted the Syahadah. not yet an Islam tho. just an embracer of Islam.

Rukun means requirement yg perlu dipatuhi kan? so Rukun Islam is “Requirement to be or to achieve Islam”. is it not? so “mengucap 2 kalimah syahadah” tuh baru 1st requirement.. we need to achieve other Rukuns to achieve Islam. kan??!!!! macam rukun negara lah! kalau nak jadik rakyat meleisia. kene la patuhi Rukun Negara. tapi Rukun Negare takkan bawak kite ke Syurga kan.. so kite pun “ek eleh!!!”… so kalau ko tak patuhi Rukun Negara, kalu kene tangkap. nanti ko kene buang negara dol.. haha! kerakyatan kite akan ditarikbalik. kite selambe tak patuhi sebab kite tau kite takkan kene tangkap. lol. so kepade sesape yg tak percaye pade Tuhan tuh, free-thinker ke hape ke.. baik korang berhati2. well. takyah berhati2 pun. org meleisia nih hape kesah. asal ko jgn kacau periuk nasik derang sudah… haha.
dan setelah aku teliti Rukun Negara. yg last skali kate “kesopanan dan kesusilaan”.. so aku cam nak tarik balik ape aku cakap pasal melayu ngn budi bahasa. tapi teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttt—- tak jadi tarik balik. Rukun Negara bukan untuk etnik melayu jek. ini untuk seluruh rakyat Malaysia. so aku takkan kutuk sape yg puji Malaysian. aku kutuk sape yg puji melayu lebih sopan, lebih lembut, lebih alim dari org lain.. heh! memang tak laaaaaaa… same je prangai sume.

sebenarnye kalau patuhi Rukun Negara pun leh dapat pahala dol..

uh! dah menyimpang.
so macam mane aku nak mengaku yg aku nih seorang Islam? walhal.. Islam itu perfect. dan aku ini tidak. ye. aku sedar. aku bukan seorang Islam. aku seseorang yg mengejar untuk menjadi seorang Islam. moga2 tercapai wish aku untuk bergelar seorang Islam. takpe. aku wish jugak orang lain bertemu dan mencapai Islam.

kamon! AMIN ramai2… AaaMiiiiiinnnnnnnnn!

ape yg aku perlu banggekan kalau aku nih bukan seorang Islam? hahaaaaaaa……
aku bangge yg aku terjumpe panduan untuk menjadi seorang Islam. aku bangga bertemu Islam. aku bangga yg sedikit demi sedikit aku berjaya mengungkai cara untuk naik lebih sikit. walaupun sedikit. hewah! dan mungkin leh share sket ngn korang. heh! gile ar.. sharing is caring wei. dapat pahala wei.

ini cam logik aku sendiri jek nih. haha! baru terpikir. well. sebenarnye dah lame terpikir. tapi tak pernah terpikir nak blog pasal mende nih. sesape yg terbace entri aku nih pun jgn la cepat sangat percaye ape aku cakap nih. nih perspektif aku jek. sile pelajari betul2. fahami betul2 sebelum ko nak ‘iye’ kan ape yg aku tulis nih. jgn jadik tuli. ngikut jek ape org cakap. kang kalau ikut bulat2.. kalau aku salah. korang pun salah jugak. haha. zero point untuk effort ngn answer.

takpe. korang boleh tolong tunjukkan. boleh marah jugak. boleh! no hal. aku tak kisah. aku tau aku bodoh. malas. gemuk. haha!

Komen kepada: Juru-Rancangan dari Tukang Komen

aku nak komen sini.. [] tapi x dapat. so aku post komen kat blog aku.

demn! kalau aku nak komen panjang jek. mesti ade error bile cube nak post komen. jadi aku bertambah malas nak komen kat blog tuan.
dan tuan! aku lelaki. bukan pompuan. sile jgn panggil aku ‘cik’ lagi ye. do i sound like a girl? doesnt that show that im being gentle. ahahahahaha! ke sebab aku gune name ururu? its just a nickname.. i can even call myself jennifer if that nickname holds. tak kisah la tuh.

well. was that entry created to put a wrath on me? nak buat aku butthurt? well.
i know my blog is lame and degrading. heck! i dont care about it. u can rage all you want about my blog. u can say anything u want to my blog. heck. u can come to me and talk shit in front of me because of my blog. i wouldnt care. malah. aku akan bersetuju.

the only thing that would rage me is the idea of insulting anything i adore. and apparently, my blog is not something i adore. as do my mind. nor do my blog can be true. can be false. i acknowledged my ideas. its up to you to acknowledge mine. i wouldnt care if my idea was shit itself. the reason for blogging defer from one another. you may want to convey truth or advice to people by blogging. and i may not.

aku tak reply komen sebab tade tenet kat umah. dan aku tak mengikut siri2 blog semua. selalunye. sebab skang nih aku lagi sebuk pasal tekak aku yg kebas sebab dah 2 minggu batuk2 saket asma [aku rase lah sebab sakit asma].

as much as i want to say i dont.. i do know what engineers do.. well maybe not with 1st hand experience.. but i know what engineers do. but thats exactly the problem in my blog isnt it. i never detailed out anything in it. coz im not one shaped to be someone so detailed, ppl wud easily misinterpret everything i blog or comment. dan aku tak kisah la. coz anything that happened between me and the internet are mostly defined by my mood. sebab kalau aku rajin nak blog secare detail. mesti dah ade ayat2 hadith or kitab yg aku selit skali bile blog pasal agama. tapi TAKDE kan?

i found the solution to that programming problem minutes after i blogged about it. but thats not what im trying to convey in that less detailed entry of mine. or any other less detailed entry.. sebab aku tulis ikut suke aku jek. bukan nak menyebarkan pengetahuan sgt pun. saje nak marah2 pasal ape yg aku baru bace 10 minit lepas. and well. mostly aku marah kat org melayu yg tak abis2 nak samekan level ngn agama Islam.. sape tak marah kalau tau agama kene hina cenggitu? blog lalu! nak update status. blog lalu. senang je kan. bukan aku cube publish article berguna pun.

kenape tak detail? sebab byk sgt nak di bagitau. little time to explain. so aku bagi point2 yg kire2 mungkin org leh paham. dan aku malas nak taip panjang2 dlm blog yg tak bagi aku pape benefit nih. ape benefitnye? buang masa aku je. sebab aku blog time keje [i know.. its unethical]. time ade internet. well. kat CC ade internet. tapi situ aku nak gune internet utk perkara lain. WTH? org lain main dota. ko pegi CC sebab nak blogging? nooo… that cannot be me.

and if my blog was ever that good of a blog. i’d be you or even another effi weiland or hellioz or hanis zalikha. but its not good. and i never want to deliberately publicly announce my existence. I just need an ID to comment and a blog to write sumthing. korang nak bace. itu hal pembace lah. nak komen. itu hal pengkomen lah. kan..?

and i would gladly duk bawah krete carik masalah daripada mengadap komputer 175 jam sebulan. i’d like to be a hard labor. an engineer. a chef. a traveller. but now is not the time.. just not the time. so aku keje hanye utk duit. until i found what i’d like to do..

ke korang judge aku nih cube menonjolkan kemuliaan based on komen2 dan blog aku? aku tak pernah kate pun aku nih mulia. malah aku rase aku tak pernah ngaku pun aku org Islam. aku ikut ajaran Islam je. mungkin tak ikut 100% sebab nafsu aku tak betul. kalau aku nih Muslim. mesti rukun Islam aku tak tinggal wei… so aku bukan Muslim. aku sendiri tau aku tak layak digelar Muslim. I wanna be one tho. aku tanak jadi org Islam dari lidah je.

aku tak pernah post2 hadith2 atau ayat2 al-Qur’an kat sini.. kenape? sebab aku tau. aku sendiri tak amalkan. dare u say ekau amalkan hadith2 sunnah2 yg ko post? yes! u dare.. biarlah sebaik mane nasihat dalam blog aku. kalau aku tak amalkan. aku takkan blog pasal ia. it is what hypocrites do. heck! aku tak pernah ajak org pegi semayang. sebab aku slalu tinggalkan.

this is what being a Malay is all about. not a Muslim.

Happy Birthday Halim

its my birthday.. and here i am writing something in my blog.. in a cyber cafe at Damansara Jaya.. im gonna play dota lepas nih..

woke up late today.. had a massive headache semalam. pastuh nak pegi kenduri kahwin yuhana tapi tak jadi sebab tertinggal kad jemputan kat opis. so aku tak tau kat mane kenduri beliau. sori lah. tak dapat lah pegi..

then i decided to go to kenduri kawen Adik Wan Janggut… tapi the police decided that they need to set a massive roadblocks around the palace area. so hari ahad.. keje aku.. duk dalam krete selame 2 jam. cube mengelak traffic jam.. rase cam konek je. hish! sampai sampai rumah Janggut.. sume rakan dah balik.. aku carik2 Janggut.. dia pun tade.. carik2 pengantin.. pengantin pun tade.. shit! tapi khemah org kawen ade la…. bukan salah rumah.
so aku balik lah!

terus gi cyber cafe.. saje nak tulis blog ngn main dota.. hehe….

tonite. im picking up my little brother.. then we’ll go have my birthday dinner at Chilis Bangsar.. takleh gi jejauh.. takleh lelame.. adik aku ade exam sok.. kene anta dia balik hostel cepat..

shitty birthday celebration for me.. i know.. tapi aku dah besar.. nak komplen ape kalau tade org ingat pun… tak penting kot…

OK! heppi befday to me..






tetibe snow pulak kat sini..


aku tak buat pape pun.. tetibe jek.. hahaaaaa… mejik!!